Posts Tagged With: Carols

Leading up to the holidays last year I posted three Christmas carols that I had rewritten to be Lincoln assassination themed. You can read them here, here, and here. Tonight, as many children are going to sleep and dreaming of a man in a red suit who will soon enter their house, I present one more carol about a different, less jolly man who entered a house on April 14th, 1865.

Lewis Powell is Coming For You
As sung to, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout.
I’m telling you why.
Lewis Powell is coming for you.

He’s made up his rounds,
He’s checked up on you.
He’s found all about,
Your injury, Sew.
Lewis Powell is coming for you.

He’ll wait ‘til you are sleeping.
He’ll say he has some meds.
He’ll follow Bell right up your stairs,
Then bash Fred in the head.

You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout.
I’m telling you why.
Lewis Powell is coming for you.

Then Lew will draw a dagger,
He’ll slash and hit your brace.
So you’ll survive another day,
With a scar upon your face.

So, you better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout.
I’m telling you why.
Lewis Powell is coming for you!

On a serious note, thank you for your continual support and friendship. I hope all of your Christmases are merry and bright and that you have a blessed holiday season.

Sincerely,

Dave Taylor
BoothieBarn.com

Here’s Boothie caroling, Part 3.

Wilkes Booth the Head Conspirator
As sung to, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”

You know Powell and Spangler,
And Surratt and Herold.
Atzerodt and Mudd,
O’Laughlen and Arnold.
But do you recall,
The most famous conspirator of all?

Wilkes Booth the head conspirator,
Had a very shiny gun.
Rathbone – he never saw it,
So now Lincoln’s work is done.
All of the other conspirators,
Listened to everything he said.
They never questioned Wilkes Booth.
And that is why old Abe is dead.

Then one foggy April night
Conger came to say,
“Wilkes Booth with the barn so bright
Won’t you come out here tonight?”
Then Boston Corbett fired,
And he shouted out with glee,
“I shot the head conspirator,
Providence directed me!”

It’s time for another dose of revised holiday cheer. Here’s another classic Christmas carol rewritten in the “Boothie” theme. Please remember that these songs are just meant as harmless fun, and not an endorsement of Booth and his actions.

We, Bruti
As sung to, “We, Three Kings of Orient Are”

We Bruti, of vengeance we are.
Recompense we seek for our scars.
This oppression through suppression,
Masking as stars and bars.

O, Lincoln, Seward, Johnson too
Tyrants all, destructive crew.
Guns and daggers, cease their swagger.
Guide us on our deadly coup.

“Caesar falls from my noble plot.
I am scorned, but it matters not.
Chased and hunted, lamed and blunted,
I earn my own gun shot.”

O, Lincoln, Seward, Johnson too
Tyrants all, destructive crew.
Guns and daggers, cease their swagger.
Guide us on our deadly coup.

“With my knife, I burst in his room.
With his blood, I paint it with gloom.
He survived me, then they tried me.
Now I await my tomb.”

O, Lincoln, Seward, Johnson too
Tyrants all, destructive crew.
Guns and daggers, cease their swagger.
Guide us on our deadly coup.

“With my task, I could not commit.
Pawned my gun, from D.C. I split.
Found with Richter, bound and pictured,
Still the same fate I get.”

O, Lincoln, Seward, Johnson too
Tyrants all, destructive crew.
Guns and daggers, cease their swagger.
Guide us on our deadly coup.

During this holiday month, I am hoping to post a few of my “Boothie” Carols.  I hope you enjoy these revised Christmas carols as the harmless bit of humor that they were intended to be.

This first one is called, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Play”.  I’ve embedded a YouTube video of the original song in case you feel like singing along with the new lyrics. 🙂

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Play

As sung to, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

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It’s the most wonderful time of the play.

With the stage almost empty,

And laughter a plenty,

Plus I’ve barred the way.

It’s the most wonderful time of the play.

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It’s the slap-happiest whimsy of all.

When their foreign born cousin,

A bane there in London,

Let’s loose his guffaw.

It’s the slap-happiest whimsy of all.

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There’ll be noise for suppressing,

The sound of my threshing,

In case someone puts up a fight.

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There’ll be shock and confusion,

A sense of delusion,

As Lincoln goes out like a light.

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It’s the most wonderful time of the play.

There’ll be much adoration,

As I save the nation,

A tyrant, I slay.

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It’s the most wonderful time.

Yes, the most wonderful time.

Oh the most wonderful time,

Of the play!

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