Have We Got a Deal for You!

“Do your fingers ache after a long day at work?  Do you feel you could do so much more with your day if it wasn’t for your tired, aching fingers?  For too long now you have settled for the ineffective and tiresome ten fingers on your hand.  Well now, all of that is over.  Introducing, John Wilkes Booth’s Trigger Finger©!”

“No longer will you have to suffer with just ten, ineffective fingers.  With John Wilkes Booth’s Trigger Finger©, the sky is the limit!  Type up an e-mail in 10/11ths of the time it used to take you.  Be the only one on your block to slap someone a ‘High 6’.  You’ll be amazed at how your clay sculpting skills will improve with the help of John Wilkes Booth’s Trigger Finger©!”

“Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘Wow! John Wilkes Booth’s Trigger Finger© seems like it would make my life a whole lot easier, but how do I know I’m getting the real thing.  I’ve been burned before.’ I’m glad you asked that.  All of our John Wilkes Booth Trigger Finger©s come in a hermetically sealed jar with an antique note of authenticity stuck right on the jar.  That way you know that every John Wilkes Booth Trigger Finger© you purchase is the absolute genuine article, snipped right off of the assassin’s hand:”

“The revolutionary John Wilkes Booth Trigger Finger© can be yours for the low, low price of just $24.66!  But wait there’s more!  Act now and we’ll throw in, absolutely free, our exclusive “Sasquatch hair preserved in glass“, just pay separate processing and handling.  That’s right, for the crazy low price of just $24.66 you get the John Wilkes Booth Trigger Finger© and the Sasquatch hair preserved in glass.  Call now supplies are limited.”

“Don’t suffer with your own ten, mundane fingers a day longer.  Click and order John Wilkes Booth’s Trigger Finger© today!”